Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Randomize
