Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
