You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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