38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So. Much. Porn.
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