Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.

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(513): View more from Ohio

what's Bukake?

(1-513): View more from Ohio

a bad idea.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.

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(302): View more from Delaware

She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.

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(512): View more from Texas

Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Let the record show that I hate your ass.

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