Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
