Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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