it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
