did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
