Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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