Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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