im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
