I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
