summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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