she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
