So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
