he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
