Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
