he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
