are you so shy because you have an std?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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