why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm passing your future prison.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize