I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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