Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
