what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
