I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
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We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
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It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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