11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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