It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
