so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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