help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
