fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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