We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I will be naked everywhere
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
