If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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