Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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