seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
