Are we in a gay sports bar?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
