I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
