I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
