No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
