So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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