She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
