living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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