bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
