Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
