I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
