How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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