Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize