No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize