this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
no. you can't hotbox the world.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
