I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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