Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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