he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
