i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
