What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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