Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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