I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
