it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
