i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.