going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.