Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
