i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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