so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think a kid would responsible me up
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
