I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
