I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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